I was starting to get a strange body high. It felt very warm inside me and my anal passage was starting to feel very sensitive. I knew it was that gel... but I was feeling intense tingling in those areas. The drugs were really kicking in now. I was feeling overwhelming sexual urges. I was transfixed on the TV as the young man looked up at one of the big black guys with a look of extreme lust. I was fascinated by how happy he looked giving another man pleasure. He then opened his mouth wide, stuck. I think that it was on my second trip up an escalator that I heard a couple of young men discussing whether or not the girl in front of them was wearing any knickers that I realised that it was me that they were talking about. I’m so used to wearing micro skirts and no knickers that I usually just don’t think about it.When I realised that they were looking up my skirt I immediately spread my feet a bit more and started clenching my pussy muscles. That moved the steel balls inside me about a lot. Hum jaise hi bunk maar k uske room pe gaye to pahle drinks start ki aur phir cards. Saath hi humne joint bhi jala liya. Ab mujhe ye nahi pata tha ki wo dono mil k khel rahe hain. Main shuru k 3-4 games haar gaya, kuch 500-1000 rs bhi haar gaya.To main thodi tension mein aa gaya aur 1 joint aur jala liya. Uske baad maine bet badhani shuru kar di. Drinks aur joint k nashe mein mera dimag nahi chal raha tha lekin paise vapas jeetne k liye main bet badhata chala gaya. Jab mujhe kuch hosh aaya tab. I muddle through. I struggle to maintain my composure each and every minute of my day. A day that drags on and on and gets harder and harder to get through. Each day I wonder. Each day I tell myself. I tell myself that this it is for the best. That it can’t be any other way. It has to be this way and this way only. I try to explain it to myself. I try to understand it. I try to make peace with it. I try to convince my heart that the ache, the pain, the emptiness will go away. That there will be.
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