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“Well, we’re not a trio of dainty ladies in Victorian-style dresses and white gloves having tea,” Darcy reasoned with me. “Nor are we a group ...f classy, conservative wives having a staid little brunch discussing politics.”“Yeah?” I said suspiciously while the boys waited for us by the beach.“No,” Darcy said. “We’re three raunchy, randy half-dressed, half-drunk women who want to roll on the sand with three naked studs we procured to fuck the bejesus out of us! Now, let’s go.”An hour later we’re. “You two ... you’ve been quite busy, haven’t you? How does each other’s cunt taste? Anyway, you will relax about what you did with each other ... and will continue to do with each other. Mother-daughter incest is a beautiful thing! You will lick each other’s pussies and asses quite often. You will both be slutty as fuck with each other and everyone else. You will both be rather wild and wanton with as many lovers as possible, especially me and my vampire nest here!” I glamored Buffy and Joyce. This one I am about to mention is the newest in my fanatasy file. I recently met this chic that moved around the bend from me. She finally got me to come over one night and kick back with her. Her man was supposed to kick it as well, but he remained asl**p in the bedroom for a good two hours as we chilled, partied, and I gave her websites that safely played porn so her computer would stay safe and not get a virus. While we looked at the final sight I had shown her, my homegirl’s husband came. ..5. Because It's A Jerk Litmus TestGiphyAgain, if bae freaks out when you say "I love you" and you're at least a few months into dating, bae is not bae. Bye, bae/jerk.6. Because It's A Bucket List ThingGiphyPoll your friends to find out how many of them have said "I love you" first. I bet the percentage is lower than our president's approval rating. (38 percent on a good day.) Just saying it will be an awesome accomplishment, especially if you're usually nervous about sharing your feels.7..
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