I was going past the brink. It helped when Theron and I began to talk again, but not by much. In little ways, incorporated in our own fantasies that w... wrote to each other, I would put in the thoughts that were making me feel so crazy. I never came out and said what was bothering me, all I did was hoped he'd get the hint, and it seemed as though he had. Writing things that catered to what I was thinking. Also during this time we began speaking of how both of us would love to meet each other in. He knew that he would be graduating before that would occur.He was getting over it though. He was finding that spending time with Erin was much more fun than spending time with dad. We still had our time together. It was just that during the week, he was spending the time we used to with the girlfriend. He told me that it more than made up for it. I was a teenager once. I fully understood that.When Friday came around I was quite happy. Work was quiet the last few days but it was still hard to. "I released her from her prison again, and she collapsed onto her side and lay still, I fetched a horse whip and gently coaxed her into movement by taps on her legs and buttocks. she began to crawl slowly away from me and I guided her towards a bowl of water I had placed on the floor, she forgot her pain and charged across to it and tried to lift it, she expressed surprise when she realised it was stuck to the floor. "No" she croaked in despair."Good Doggy." I suggested.She began to lap it up. Dad would beat me. He would say he waspunishing me even though I hadn't done anything wrong. I remember thishappening on a few occasions so I would always fear incurring myfather's wrath. I was not only careful about what I said but what Ithought because I could hear my father's voice inside my head and myfather was therefore always with me, omniscient and omnipresent likeGod.When I hear Christians talk about "Father God" it makes me think thatthey must have had a different experience of.
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