I hadso wanted to share my news and now that I had, it made me certain that Ihad done the right thing by accepting Barb's invitation. Not that it dida...ything to address my dilemma on what to wear.When I had boldly suggested that Sue should go out rather than Sam, Iwas high on my personal shopping spree. I had felt so at ease with Barbgoing around the store openly picking out women's clothes, trying themon, and acting like a regular girl, that I had gotten a false sense ofsecurity about. ‘Babe, it’s me. I’m worried. Are you okay?’ ‘Mr Lewis, I’m sorry, but it is restaurant policy not to hold a table for more than forty minutes. Would you like to start alone or would you like to give the table up?’ The maître d’ asked, patiently. Ryan reluctantly gave up his reservation. He’d had this evening all planned out, he had something to ask Gemma and this would have been perfect. Good food, great wine. Casual enough to not be intimidating, polished enough to know he was serious. He. I couldn't live with him alone. I knew he would beat me tonight, and the next and the next. 'Come and sit with me.' he said.I numbly walked over to him and sat on the couch. 'Your mum's an alcoholic and a slut. She won't be back for a while.'I didn't understand what he was doing, he never spoke to me. In one movement he stood, 'I'm going to bed' he said 'because you're the only girl in this house you will sleep with me, like your mother should do. Come up soon.' Then he was gone.Not wanting. ‘Leave me alone. I want to go to sleep.’ I rolled over and refused even to look in her direction. She didn’t move for a good ten minutes and nor did I. I heard her stand up and fumble around with some tissues. ‘I’m sorry Anna,’ she finally said. ‘I’ll never be able to stop loving you but I hope you find someone who deserves you.’ Her voice quivered with tears. ‘No matter what you say you’ll always be my Sweetheart because I’m never going to feel like this again. I hope you’ll be happy, even.
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