It wasn't a romantic escapade, no one was going out with anyone else. We set off from Barna in my friend's father's old car, a great big old Citroen,...a shark, I think it was called. They were called sharks because of the fins on the back of the car though as I remember it this one didn't have any. Anyway the car was large, blue and very dodgy, just like the one in the photo above. We had left early in the morning to avoid the rush and the heat as this was at the end of July. Once we had passed. Then there was the oil. She told me ahead of time she wanted to fuck me on the floor and asked me to rig us up a nice soft bed in the family room right in front of the fireplace. So I dug out the foam mattresses from the garage that I used for camping and covered them with some bedsheets and got a fire going. That damn woman showed up with a big tote bag full of stuff.First, she whipped out a giant heavy plastic tarp, twelve feet square, and covered the bed I’d made and the surrounding floor. ..Until the day I challenged you to a little competition.The two of us are sitting fully clothed in your kitchen. We are sitting on hard wooden chairs that are on a ceramic tiled floor– an important detail for later. In front of us, on the table, are several pint tumblers full of ice-cold water. We are about to start a competition neither of us is sure about who might “win”. Is win even the right word?The competition – the first one to have to give in and pee, the toilet down the hall being out. As we moved toward a smiling Jason I scanned the assembled guests and saw a good half dozen faces who could do just what I was afraid of. Just as we reached the end of the aisle I glanced at my mother hoping for a reassuring smile and I saw her looking at me and frowning and then my attention was taken up by the minister as he began the ceremony.As the minister droned on I thought back over the past few years, actually the four since my eighteenth birthday, and the things that I had done that.
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