" You're kidding, right?" I am not kidding. I am being truthful. But, this is not important. Nothing is now important. I will go home on Saturday a vi...gin and I will lose face with all of my friends. I will be dishonored as one who does not make what she has said into the truth. Nothing I say will ever be believed again. To them I will be as nothing, I will not really exist." Her head fell as the tears started again.Gary was torn. On the one hand he had his promise to, and his fear of, his. I was living in a good relationship. I didn't really feel the need to look for sex outside of the relationship... but my unfulfilled fantasies bothered me.I began to consider paid companions.I knew that the rules would have to be well established from the beginning. I began to look for an escort, and in my messages I explained exactly what it was that I wanted; activities that caused severe pain and left visible bruises for several days.Not surprisingly, it wasn't easy to find women for this.To. ..squatter?...than a taller woman with the same measurements. The fact that I had large boobs didn't help.However, his face lit up with that great smile and he called my name in greeting. We went into the coffee shop and chatted for a bit.Again, we didn't hit it off famously, but it wasn't bad either. After a bit he suggested going for a walk around a local park and I agreed. I felt pretty comfortable with him by that point, so I took a chance.We chatted some more on the walk. He had a good. I tried to apologize to her but she wouldn’t listen to me. I decided I’d have to make it up to her somehow. My unemployment check arrived in the mail and I thought I would take her out for dinner and make it up to her. I knew money was tight but my marriage was more important than paying a damn credit card bill. I cleaned up and stopped and bought her a small bouquet of flowers. I decided I would go meet her at work and apologize to her and take her out for dinner. She usually got off at five.
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