He walked as fast as he could out of the bar and into the downpour of the cold night. In his haste, he hadn’t taken his rain jacket, but he didn’t...care. Fumbling with his keys, he pressed the button for the unlock on his car, and got into the driver’s seat. He stared forward for what seemed to be an eternity. He then started sobbing uncontrollably, leaning on the steering wheel, pounding on the horn with his fist. His solace was interrupted by a loud banging on his passenger door. He glanced to. That from the side near us shot up into the air at least sixty-five feet, while that from the front part of the excavation rose even higher before all of it arched over to land some fifty feet behind us in a long, wide mound some ten feet high that was just a bit longer than the excavation due to the spread of the dirt at the ends of the mound. In less than a minute, there was a huge mound of dirt behind us, all of it having come from the hole now in the ground in front of us. Those in. The bad news was my phone confirmed it was indeed 12:38 pm. The good news is the call I missed was from Courtney - the bartender I had met the night before. I decided I’d give her a call once I gathered my bearings. My head was pounding from the drinking the night before. Pro tip: don’t chase beer with vodka late night. You’ll wake up hungover and naked the next morning. Except it wasn’t even morning anymore. It was afternoon. “Jesus Christ Kelly,” I muttered to myself as I walked. She looked somewhat, disheveled, and she blushed that pale green color again. “Yes Bob, you had a question?”“Yes, as a matter of fact I do. What have you people done to me? First I almost get raped by you this morning and then this afternoon my nurse, Nancy Summers, comes calling in a very short, tight dress with no bra and says that she is horny for me. She even wants to have my baby. Now what is going on? What have you people done to me?” I could see the fear in her eyes, and she almost.
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