“You know, between your legs,” Eleanor whispered.“I tried to put my finger in once or twice, but it hurt.”“So you don’t, you know, do it? ... do it almost every day.”“Do what?”“Play with your fanny!” In her exasperation, Eleanor almost shouted the naughty word.“Oh, that. Richard did that once, before you almost caught us. I thought I died with pleasure when he touched me. You do that to yourself?”“Of course! I think of someone, imagine to be with him, and I play with myself until I reach my. .. was, an accountant.Being dead is something I still have to get used to. It's playing havoc with my tenses. You try talking about yourself in the past tense or even the passed over, as in, no longer in the present or of this world.Anyway, I was an accountant with only the one client. Don Pellotti was head of a small family who all seemed to have nicknames with the exception of Juliette, who didn't seem to warrant one. Mine was "Numbers", or "Numbnuts", depending on who was talking about me.. I told her of course.When I got there, she had been drinking a little. I opened a beer to have one myself."So I started drinking earlier because I figured it would be easier to tell you... I've started seeing someone," she said. Her voice seemed so nervous."That's good," I said, wondering what exactly that meant about us, but trying to be supportive."I was really nervous to tell you, because I don't want to lose you as a friend. And everything that has happened between us now, I'm worried that. Judy looked at me and said, Tom, are you okay, you look like you just saw a ghost! I just mumbled something about having to get back to work, and went back to my office. OK, I told myself. Last month at this time, you were rarely getting laid, even by your own wife. Now just because some cute coed is going to be hanging around doesnt mean its automatic pussy. Well, that was the rational side of my brain talking. The other side, the one that often made my decisions, was making my dick hard.
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