3 (Hickory Daily Record):Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton NC. Awakening to the sound of a ringing tele...hone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but instead grabbed a Smith & Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.Nominee No. 4 (UPI, Toronto):Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police. "You're ... right. I'm sorry. Look, I'm just not ready yet. I will be in a year or two, but hell, man, I'm fresh out of college, about to go to the Academy! In a year or two, I'll be a cop and I can be a father then! I'm just not ready so soon. Forgive me, Jen? I'm just not ready yet! Sorry, Mom, but I just got out of college. This shit is coming at me fast! Too fast! Jen and I were supposed to have time to get to know each other and I would have time to find out if it was really love or. ”He was off like a shot. I made a lap around all the fences and gates and was headed back to the house when I heard Aunt Mary holler, “Sam you son-of-a-bitch!”I went tearing to the house as hard as I could go. I came around the corner and there sat Aunt Mary with a strangle hold on poor old Sam. I said, “What happened?”“Well,” she said, “Here I was all stretched out sunning myself and this sneaky bastard snuck up and stuck his nose right in my crotch.”She said that she had jumped and then. She clearly loved it, judging by the way her body jumped. Her head went back and I swear I heard a soft moan escape from her lips. Or was it from the film? I shot a quick look at the screen. The heroine was still getting fucked mercilessly by the gang leader who currently had his head buried in her deep cleavage.What the fuck! Was pudgy old man trying to mirror image the action on the screen. Or was it just a coincidence?And then he leaned forward and his lips met hers. Fuck her, the bitch.
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