No one waited for me. I felt almost as abandoned as I had in my prison cell.Okay, time to take stock, I thought. I had 152 dollars and 32 cents in my ...allet, 50 of those from the damn last job. I had a working and charged mobile phone. And I had the keys to my old truck, which was hopefully still parked at the damn house.So I called a taxi and waited. The cab finally arrived and the driver seemed to recognize me instantly. Shit, I had forgotten to anticipate how life as some kind of negative. I laughed and responded with agreement; although there was only one girl I could gather any significant thought about at that moment. She wished me all the best and waited back inside. She had told me she was going on a blind date her friend set up to which my heart sank. I began to wish her date went horribly, I wondered if the guy was some sleaze. It wasn’t fair, I was the one who had paved way to her heart. If some sleaze-ball was to undermine all that I would have been livid. My night went. I lost concentration and stopped clenching and all the juices had expelled them onto the floor with a thud which wakened me. I try not to panic and struggle to try and free myself so that I can replace them before you return. Of course you haven't gone anywhere, you were downstairs in the lounge waiting for the thud!!!!! I always knew you had a bastard streak and now I was learning about it 1st hand! As you come in the door I can hear you tutting. You are naked now and your beautiful cock is. I thought sex was a chore, honestly. With Josh especially, it was ‘mind if I do this’, ‘Can I touch you here’. ‘I’m going to do this now, okay?’, or maybe ‘Please, could we try this?’ Like I said, boring. In Josh’s defense, I never did tell him what I wanted or needed. Until Ben Sheppard came along, I didn’t know what I wanted or needed and wouldn’t let myself consider that what I wanted and needed is the firm hand that Ben gives me. In many ways, I feel like Ben Sheppard took my virginity. My.
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